Dante And Trish Do Blink 182
by Skye Quisame
Summary: Dante and Trish are quoting Mark Hoppus and Tom DeLonge! Things you thought would NEVER come out of their mouths!


Dante and Trish as Blink 182  
  
Dante: Trish?  
Trish: What?! What the fuck do you want, Dante? I'm sick of "Hey, Trish?" "Trish, hey... hey" "Hey, Trish" "Hey...hey look at how I can make it bigger if I rub it, hey Trish look at this."  
Dante: I wasn't masturbating. ...I've never done that. I was...inspecting my testicles for...weird bumps.  
  
Dante: *singing* I...wanna fuck a dog in the ass.  
Trish: *also singing* He wants to fuck a dog in the ass.  
Dante: I wanna fuck a dog. That's right kids. I...tried to fuck your mom in the ass. Tried to fuck your dad in the ass. Could only find the dog. ...And his ass.  
Dante & Trish: We....wanna fuck a dog in the ass. We wanna fuck a dog in the ass. We wanna fuck a dog.  
Dante: I...tried to fuck a fuckin pirate in the ass.  
Trish: Argh, me and me first mate!  
Dante: Tried to fuck a fukin pirate! ...But I found the dog.  
Trish: Argh, that was no pirate mon, that was me own sista!  
*music stops. Dante looks over at Trish*  
Trish: ...It was a Mexican pirate.  
*Dante smirks and starts playing the guitar again*  
Dante & Trish: We...we wanna fuck a dog in the ass. We wanna fuck a dog in the ass! *snickers* Wanna fuck a fuckin dog!!  
Dante: .........Fuck you.  
- Fuck a Dog  
  
Dante: Trish, we have a very special person here that wants to say hi. Guys, this is Satan.  
Dante making the voice of Satan: Well, hello kids. If you guys would take off your pants then maybe I'd be a little more happy. I wanna have fun with you guys but I'm gonna have to see your dicks.  
Trish: *laughs* What the hell?  
  
Satan: I like unicorns, pictures of flowers, and long walks on the beach. ...And a thousand naked children molesting my weiner.  
Dante: *laughs* Wait...what are some of the things that Satan loves?  
Satan: Satan loves unicorns...pictures, and poetry.  
Dante: Hey, pay attention you fu---BOOBIES!  
  
Satan: I wanna sleep with every one of you. Starting with the retards. *laughs* Starting with the....Sorry, kids, I'm not very funny anymore, I'm really not.  
Dante: Hey, what if we did something like this? ...Hey, Satan?  
Satan: Yes, Dante?  
Trish: *laughs*  
Dante: Well, I was wondering if I was gonna get laid tonight.  
Satan: Why, no you're not Dante.  
Dante: Why not?  
Satan: Because your dick's small, dark, and ugly.  
Dante: Allright. ....Am I funny or what? *crickets sound*  
  
Trish: Hey, remember that one time...where I walked over to your house...and your brother was there with the peanut butter smeared all over his weiner and he was like "Come here boy, come here! Come here boy... Who likes the Skippy? Who likes the Skippy peanut butter?"  
  
Dante: WOW! Hey, I'm fuckin in the mood...to party!  
Trish: Well, all right!  
Dante: Well fuckin all right!  
Trish: You know what we're gonna do tonight? A whooole lotta fuckin! We're all gonna get laid!  
  
Dante: If I were a girl, every time I went to the gynocologist, I'd fake an orgasm.  
  
Trish: Dante's middle name is...Rebecca.  
Dante: That's right! My middle name is Rebecca because my dad wanted a girl...he treats me like one.  
  
Trish: Hey, I wanna make this like a big golf tournament. Everyone shut up. Everyone just clap like it's a golf tournament.  
**peepz clap**  
Dante: That's what it sounds like when I get done having sex. 15,000 people cheering me on. I could take all of you in my bed right fuckin now! ...But you're not invited, Trish.  
  
Trish: You have got giant boobs and I doubt you're 18. Do you have a note from your mom? I wanna meet your mom.  
Dante: Hey, put those 13-year old boobs away! If I wanted to see 13-year-old boobs, I'd hang out by the junior high like my dad does.  
  
Dante: Hello, I'm Dante...Sparda. I'm 20 years old, and I looooooove to masturbate.  
  
Trish: I find it to be my job to act like the villiage idiot. Just to...make a total ass out of myself at anytime possible.  
  
Dante: Hey, Trish. I'm starting to get sweaty. And contrary to what most people think, I think I look better wet. I've been compaigning this for about 2 years now. So as the show goes on, you'll see me getting sexier and sexier as it gets hotter and hotter.  
Trish: And if you look close enough, you might see Dante get fatter and fatter as the show goes on, too.  
Dante: Why would I be getting fatter?  
Trish: Because dog semen is full of calories.  
Dante: Yea, don't eat dog semen. We hear it's the #1 cause of...bad breath.  
  
Trish: Let me tell you guys something.  
Dante: I'm gay.  
  
Dante: Hey, if you guys are anything like me, you like to dress up in your mother's underware, walking around the house, trying to seduce your father. ...What? Just me?  
Trish: I'm like you, I tried to seduce your dad... 


End file.
